About that hot Irish guy on TMZ…strictly an eye candy post for the girls

If you don’t know who I’m talking about, you can just start Googling “Hot Irish” and Hot Irish Guy on TMZ will come up. That’s what’s so funny about it.

His name is Peter O’Riordan and a discussion about him came up over a liposuction under local in my office yesterday. We were still on the first thigh and my patient—who had refused to take even a vicodin—was getting bored. If you hadn’t realized that you might have to bring your own source of entertainment while you are having a liposuction done under local, please see the Can’t I Just Have Lipo Done Under Local post.

Since it’s just women in the room, these discussions over lipo-under-local inevitably degenerate into conversations about clothes, men, and Fifty Shades of Grey. Her friend (who had come along to watch the procedure) had already whipped out an IPad for a repeat showing of the Fifty Shades of Grey Saturday Night Live skit, so we were done with that. I was a little too worn out from a long week to go into my usual stand-up routine, so when her friend said she was going back into the waiting room where TMZ was on, I thought of something.

“I never watch TMZ, really,” I told my patient. “But have you seen that hot—“

She cut me off immediately with: “The hot Irish guy?” and so I knew I could kill ten minutes with a story she would appreciate.

Before I moved in with my husband a couple of years ago, on an impulse I briefly lived in a studio in Laurel Canyon. It was the picture-perfect artist’s hideaway with a breathtaking view but it was not as cool as my married friends with kids and big houses imagined it to be. For one thing, it did not have a kitchen. So I frequented that Trader Joe’s at the corner of Sunset and Crescent Heights quite a bit, as Trader Joe’s is your best bet when all you have is a microwave and a mini refrigerator.

Back then, I used to spend most Saturday nights working on my book alone at home. Fortunately my then-boyfriend-now-husband saw this as his opportunity to live it up in the South Bay with his last few single friends, which gave me the time I needed to write. And since it was taking him longer and longer to recover from trying to drink like a twenty-five year-old, I usually had the whole next day to myself as well.

Anyway, one of those Saturday nights that I was at Trader Joe’s there was an uncharacteristically hot guy working one of the checkout lines. It would have been difficult not to notice him, as you can imagine how out of place he looked working at the Trader Joe’s at Sunset and Crescent Heights looking like this:

I figured he had to be gay, because no straight men in that part of town take such good care of themselves. But gay eye candy is better than no eye candy, especially when you’re looking forward to a long evening ahead of writer’s block in a three hundred square foot studio that is starting to look like it wasn’t such a great idea after all, so obviously I chose his check-out line.

But as soon as he started chatting me up in that overly-friendly Trader Joe’s kind of way while he rang up my collection of ready-made food, all I could think was, he’s  sooo not gay and why didn’t I put on makeup and a cute outfit to go to Trader Joe’s? And is that amazing Irish accent for real?

He asked how my night was going. I said fine, I had a lot of work to do. He asked if I was a writer (not exactly a compliment, to “look” like a writer in L.A.) I said yes, I was writing something, but to clarify, I was not a writer. So he asked what I did for a living and I told him I was a surgeon. He then informed me that he had started at a medical school in Dublin because it was his dream to become a physician, but he quit after a year because he had been too distracted, “having too much fun.” I told him I could only imagine how distracting it must have been having women throwing themselves at him all the time while he was trying to study.

Then I didn’t even ask him—I just stated the most obvious fact: “So you came here to be an actor.”

“No,” he said. “I came here to go to school at UCLA–”

Yeah, right…🙂

“But,” he continued. “After I’d only been here for two weeks, I got hired to be on a show.”

I assumed it must be some kind of soap opera or show on the CW because again, this is what he looks like:

So I told him he must have a lot of enemies, because people spend their whole lives here and get nothing. Then again, most of them don’t look like he does in real life. He agreed that some of his new acquaintances had become pretty pissed off.

Alas, he did not take my phone number, but he did tell me that he really respected what I did for a living, and his comment seemed heartfelt.

I think I got some good writing done that night—having someone like that bagging your groceries can certainly put a spring in your step—but I moved out of that hellhole soon after that, and stopped going to that Trader Joe’s, and I never saw him again.

But then a year later while I was on the elliptical at the Equinox in West Hollywood, there he was on the overhead TV # 3!

As soon as I got home, I confirmed with a Google search (again, all I put in was “Hot Irish” and his name came up.) Turns out he has a huge fanbase. Some site called “The Data Lounge” reports: “His name is Peter O’Riordan, and he is an ‘actor/model’ from Ireland, who Harvey Levin supposedly found working in the produce department at Trader Joe’s.”

Well, the second part is true, but we really need to set the record straight. He was an aspiring physician who was torn from his true calling by whatever media frenzy they have over there in Ireland because of the way he looks. A tragic tale.

I don’t know how to end this except to say: Life just isn’t fair, is it?

Have a great weekend!



P.S. Feedback on that hot pink Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy® Knockout Bra from last time is that it fits great and does wonders 🙂

  1. Penrose said:

    I was having a rotten Saturday, Lipo Queen, then I read your post about the hot Irish guy and began to smile. You rock!! I love reading LQ posts. Never know what to expect. This was a gem. I’m still smiling. Gonna put on some make-up and trot on over to Trader Joe’s. Who knows? THANK YOU FOR THE TERRIFIC POSTS. xxx

    • So glad you enjoyed it! True story! But I don’t think he’s there anymore 😦

  2. yve said:

    you ARE a writer and a terrifically effective story teller! i always enjoy seeing your updates in my inbox! cheers to you!

    • Thank you! Kelly really did help with that last one 🙂 And congrats to you–sounds like you’ve been really busy. When are u here again?

  3. Love this story! Though I gotta say, my favorite TMZ guy is the blond one. The ex-model. Regardless, loved this post!

  4. Love this ! So fun to hear this dude’s backstory. Though I gotta say, my favorite guy on TMZ is the long haired blond one. The one who used to be an ex model. Do you have any dirt on him? =) Loved this post!

    • Glad you liked it! Really? You like the blond stoner the best? He’s so 2008 LOL.All I know is that he really is exactly what he looks like–last I heard he lives down at the beach in the South Bay–my husband used to see him there all the time. But I think it’s all about the Irish guy now. Great to hear from you! XO

  5. Deirdre O'Riordan said:

    This is Peter’s mom and I can assure you he is absolutely 100% heterosexual, he doesn’t have a gay bone in his body…!
    He has an honours degree in Government and Public policy from University College Cork. He was engaged to a Californian girl, unfortunately it didn’t work out, he is currently in a relationship with another young lady.

    • Hi Deirdre,
      I did not think he was gay at all and wasn’t implying so in the blog–just the opposite. I just thought that he was very handsome and friendly, and I thought it was funny that my patient instantly knew who I was talking about. This was also a long time ago when he wasn’t as well known. Please know that I was not trying to be offensive at all, I just thought it was a cute story, and I got a LOT of feedback on how much people loved that particular blog and liked him. I also was not trying to discredit his education. So please accept my apology if there was any misunderstanding.

      • Deirdre O'Riordan said:

        Absolutely no offense taken, I just thought people might be interested in the info I gave, seeing as he is proving to be quite popular over there in L.A.
        Best wishes & kindest regards

      • Yes he is! 🙂 We love him!

  6. Emily said:

    I kind of hate TMZ, but once I realized Hot Irish Guy was on it, I sometimes convince myself I should watch it and that there’s “nothing else on.” haha. Apparently I’m that girl. Cool to hear his background a bit!

    • LOL! He’s actually a very nice guy, too. It’s pretty funny if you think about it–that even the paparazzi in L.A. is hot enough to have a following :). Trust me, we are all that girl. I got so much positive feedback on that blog. And when I check the stats, you wouldn’t believe how many people are Googling him every day.:) So enjoy! Happy Holidays and thanks for reading!

  7. Michele said:

    LOL I WAS JUST GOGGLING PETER O RIORDAN AT 2am from my studio in Alaurel Canyon HAHAHA ..Mo kidding! Although i do have a kitchwn … i have MO HUABAND …and a A WAY TOO YOUNG LOVER/BOYFRIEND … so i dream of People like Peter marrying me someday? How ironic i nevenn went to trader joes as i lived nwxt door to the country Store but now i DO REGRET BEING SO LAZY not to getting my a** down to Trader Joes ..as i would have totally founf some way go SEDUCE THAT HOT IRISHMAN!!! DAMN WHO KNEW ? u are SO LUCKY U ACTIALLY FOUND A HUBSY IN THIS SHALLOW TOWN OF TRAMSIENT WANNA BES!!! UM BARELY JANGING IN TJERE …but your story was certainly well written and insired me to leave a witty comment …So i consider this a positive step closer to finding “MY OWN MR RIGHT”??? wish me luck…PS . Peters voice is sp ahot He could actually wear a TRADER KOES BAG ON HIS HEAD…& id still have a HUGE CRUSH ON THE LAD!!! bless the Hot Irishman!!! LOL

    • Love it! Thanks for sharing! My sister made fun of me for that post but I told her people are Googling him every day! 🙂

  8. Deirdre O'Riordan said:

    Hi girls,
    Peter’s mom here again, just to let you know that he was promoted a few months back to assignments manager at TMZ which meant he was no longer going to be out ‘papping’ so therefore would not be on the show, but he is so popular with the fans that they had to leave him on the show! He is now in a relationship for the past 12 months with a lovely girl called Stephanie. We are expecting him home to Ireland for Christmas so we are really looking forward to that as we have not seen him since May 2012 when we met him in New York for a few days to celebrate my 50th birthday.
    Warm wishes & kindest regards

    • Hi Deirdre,
      They can’t have TMZ without Peter at the Bedford nail salon! Stephanie is a lucky girl, and judging from the increasing numbers of hits I get on this post–even after over a year later–I know that there are lots of girls out there very disappointed that he is off the market. Hope you have a wonderful holiday season with your family! (But please send Peter back to the States in January :))


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